PDF KINDLE The Corrections Æ Jonathan Franzen


Wolf by Wolf (Wolf by Wolf, eG good fictionAlso wrong because these daysmployers can firewall all porn and gambling and social networking sites But here they don t think of Goodreads as a social networking site so shhhh don t tell them 9 Interesting verbs are seldom very interestingHe s galumphing again 10 You have to love before you can be relentlessThat s from a Christmas cracker i betAnyway The Corrections is one of the few books which made me want to find out what the guy wrote next which was Freedom what a crap title The Corrections has one really naff section where it turns into a stupid farce about post Soviet Lithuania and gangsters and stuff really bad Otherwise I thought it was tough tender relentless ven but sadly full of interesting verbs Fail yourself Jonathan While reading The Corrections I really understood the meaning of schadenfreude because I despised almost very character in this book so much that the miserable their lives got the The Eightfold Path for the Householder enjoyment I took from it And when a shotgun was introduced late in the novel I read the rest of it with my fingers crossed while muttering Please please please please please please in the hope that at least one of those pitiful shits wouldnd up taking a load of buckshot to the faceThe Lambert s are a Midwestern family and while the grown children have all moved to Philadelphia and New York the parents have remained in St Jude The father Alfred was a workaholic middle manager for a railroad and he s the kind of joyless repressed bastard that considered all pleasures frivolous and taking a coffee break as a massive character flaw Now retired he s suffering from Parkinson s and dementia He deserves itEnid is the mother Seriously Franzen Enid I ve lived in the Midwest all my life and have never met an Enid I know you were making a point on how suare the old school Midwesterners are but that s pushing it She s a delusional nagging harpy from hell who aims her passive aggressive attacks at whichever family member has recently burst the bubble of whatever fantasy she is currently clinging to Through most of the book Enid has her heart set on one last family Christmas at the house in St Jude and the vil bitch will stop at nothing to get itGary is the oldest and a successful investment adviser in Philly but he married a woman who wants all ties severed with his family and has a special way of getting his sons to join her in her fforts Torn between trying to placate his wife and his mother while letting their denials of reality make him crazy and trying to be the responsible one Gary is running himself ragged to avoid admitting that he s depressed Someone should pimp slap him so hard that his fillings fly out of his teethChip the middle son is a waste of skin with a special talent for self destruction He torched his academic career as a professor just as he was about to get tenure by having an affair with a student and then becoming obsessed with her He s now a mooch in New York working on a screenplay so horrible that it d make a Michael Bay movie look good by comparison He s also the kind of douche bag who thinks that getting rivets put in his Plancton - Aux origines du vivant. ears and wearing leather pants is coolven though he s over thirtyDenise is the one character that I actually had some sympathy for A daddy s girl who adopted Alfred s work How to Stop Feeling So Damn Depressed: The No Bs Guide for Men ethic she s a successful chef of an upscale restaurant but she s also got a messy personal life including trying to figure out her sexuality At least she s the one member of this dysfunctional hellspawned family that knows she has issues and tries not to deceive herself any than most people doThe weird thing is thatven though I loathed the Lamberts and almost Two-Hour Party Cakes every supporting character too that I actuallynjoyed this book I usually can t stand stories where all the characters problems are self inflicted Peter emotional wounds due to a basic refusal to admit and face reality However I have to admit that I found this compelling reading Maybe I was into it for all the wrong reasons Namely that I hated the Lamberts so much that their continued suffering brought sweet tears of joy to myyes That s probably not what Franzen intended but he had to create some incredibly vivid characters and do justice to their pathetic lives to make me hate them so very very much Franzen s writing is impeccable Not only does his understanding of complex familial relationships fascinate me but his ability to capture these characters all five of them I might add with such depthI think that is what really drew me in as a reader I mean these are people who are so flawed Empty Your Cup: Why We Have Low Self-Esteem and How Mindfulness Can Help (Self-Compassion Book 1) emotionally and so utterly selfish inherently and yetach of them has this capacity for loving one another Bids, Tenders and Proposals: Winning Business Through Best Practice (Bids, Tenders Proposals: Winning Business Through Best) even while recognizing their inability to standach other for than five minutes at a time in a sense they are human than most humans And Franzen knows how to write a sentence my God All this book did was remind me why I love to readHonestly I try to give five stars sparingly but this one I fully Leading Cultural Change: The Theory and Practice of Successful Organizational Transformation endorse I think what makes it better than Freedom is that I walked away from this with a knot in my stomach I really felt something here Seven year old Chip being left alone at the dinner table until it was latenough for him to fall asleep on his placemat bothered me Juxtapose that with the tenderness Chip shows his dad toward the Strategic Procurement end of the novel and you start to wonder whether this man wasver really the motionally unavailable "tyrant that you thought he was Either this just as a huge reminder for "that you thought he was Either way this serves as a huge reminder for appreciate the way things are now while my kids are still young because it s probably not always going to be this simple My first Franzen Really I don t ven know how to start this review I could begin I suppose by discussing the pure perfection of his writing It is REALLY DAMN GOOD If I could break reviews down into little sections he d get 10 stars for his styletechniue Excellent On the other hand I can t give this a full 5 stars Or can I Yeah it was well written The depth of the characters and the storyline maybe just a hair short of phenomenal YetWhy do I bother with fiction I feel guilty as if I should be learning something instead Is the desire to read this type of fiction some sort of voyeuristic fetish Peek into some fictional character s life and say Hell I ve got it good Really there is plenty of non fiction out there to get you into an attitude of gratitude right uick see books on holocaust genocide great depression Die Neurobiologie des Glücks: Wie die Positive Psychologie die Medizin verändert (German Edition) etc Do I as a reader get anything out of it at all beyond perhaps some mindlessntertainment Do I have to David Foster Wallace once said Fiction s about what it is to be a fucking human being And you know he s right In The Corrections Franzen absolutely nails not literally Meditieren mit Musik und Klngen: Inspiration Nada Yoga each member of a dysfunctional average family Mom borders on neurotic Dad is demented Kids all screwed up in their own way The followingxcerpt He d had the sense moments MasterCases in Spine Surgery earlier that Caroline was on the verge of accusing him of being depressed and he was afraid that if the idea he was depressed gained currency he would forefit the right to his opinions He would forefit his moral certaintiesvery word he spoke would become a symptom of disease he would never again win an arguement Fricking BRILLIANT And real Somehow Franzen manages to put the fun in dysfunctional Far from mindless The Corrections tunes you in to Physik fr Mediziner each family member and their flaws In reading you may recognize yourself in one of the characters stop and think oh no I m that jerk Or in a perhaps better scenario say Ha That bitch is just like my sisterWhatever the case you KNOW these people Franzen writes about You work with them God forbid you are related to them But it is real All the imperfections the misunderstandings the yearning the love the hate It IS about being a human being And it is done very damn wellThis is NOT my last Franzen 41917 update I appreciate that so many people have liked this review andor commented on it whether we agree or not Please know that I will not be interacting with any comments as I remember almost nothing about this novel other than the repulsion I felt toward it I cannot add anything worthwhile to a discussion orngage in any intelligent discourse unless I read it again which I think we all know I am not going to do That being said anyone using the comments section to make a personal attack on my character or ability as a reader a decade ago mind you will have their comment deleted Kindly agree to disagree and move alongA seemingly unending stream of word vomitI can think of no other way to describe this thingI really really despised almost Keepers Compendium everything about The Corrections I finished it solely so that I could write a horrible review and have it be validAt no single point before the last 10 pages of this 566 page monster did I feel a shred of sympathy with any of the characters There were several moments where I thought Franzen would have been better off writing dialogue for the average Joe instead of the trumped up and out of place Dawson s Creeksue vocabulary in almost The Man with the Golden Gun (James Bond role-playing game) [Box Set] every human interaction His insistence on using the 25 cent word atvery turn made reading the story choppy at best aggravating and unenjoyableI also couldn t help but see the author in a lot of his characters worst personality traits Annoying hipster lecher I m better than capitalism but still depend on it Chip Whiny too good for anyone Gary Ungrateful I m a bitch but reuire all your love and attention Denise The parents Alfred is the only one for whom I felt any sympathy and that didn t happen until the last dregs of the book and I think maybe RckenYoga: Die DVD even then it was a knee jerk reaction at being so close to the book being over Enid s issues rubbed me the wrong way for many reasons not the least of which being that I could see my own mother in her which means I suppose that Enid was probably the most well represented character in the novelThe secondary characters were almostntirely a sorry lot with personalities to the Schmerzmedizin - 1000 Fragen extreme in any number of directions too smart too stupid too needy too plain too EVERYTHINGI know that I ll never understand the praise this book received from critics and readers and I m ok with that I do wish however that I could meet some of the people who relate it soasily to real life Meeting them perhaps would truly terrify E vai parar na distante Lituânia país imerso nas recentes transformações capitalistas do Leste Psychologische Homöopathie. europeuPara contarssa história The Viva Mayr Diet: 14 days to a flatter stomach and a younger you em ue todos procuram incessantemente corrigir os rumos ue imprimiram às próprias vidas o autor usa uma prosa ácida uexpressa o Aviation Logistics: The Dynamic Partnership of Air Freight and Supply Chain embatentre mundos inconciliáveis o universo conservador dos pais R High Performance Programming e o pragmatismo sem horizonte dos filhosMaravilhoso Tudo o ue sespera de um grande romance xceto por um motivo le acaba The New York Times Book ReviewÀ altura de Os Buddenbrooks de Thomas Mann Ruído branco de Don DeLillo Uma realização notável Michael Cunningha. The critics loved The Corrections Published in 2001 it won the National Book Award for fiction for that year and was a finalist for a Pulitzer Prize a year later It also won or was nominated for a number of other prestigious literary prizesDavid Gates wrote in his glowing review in the New York Times that the book had just nough novel of paranoia touches so Oprah won t assign it and ruin Franzen s street cred Wrong David Oprah not only chose it for her book club but went so far as to proclaim it the great American novel Franzen who recognized that his book s selection by Oprah meant that sales would sharply increase was nevertheless ambivalent about the situation because he believed that heretofore her selections had been on the schmaltzy side Conseuently when he voiced his feelings in several interviews Oprah withdrew her invitation to have him as a guest on her show And the dust cover of my hardback copy does not feature her stamp of approval which had been The Qur'an, Morality and Critical Reason: The Essential Muhammad Shahrur embossed onarlier copies of the book Of course the publicity Vermeer to Eternity engendered by the tempest in a teapot may have had as much of a positive impact on sales as his appearance on her show would have had But perhaps he did salvage his street cred I hope soSo how is it that I would give such a heralded book two out of five stars I ll answer that but first here is another uote from David Gates review If you don tnd up liking Heaven to Betsy each one of Franzen s people you probably just don t like people My answer for the two stars is I didn t like any of the people I didn t like the father the mother I did feel some pity for her but I can t say I liked her the older son orspecially his wife the younger son or the daughter At first I liked her but only because I didn t know her When I did get to know her I found her to be the most unlikable of the So B. It entire crewxcept for the older son s wifeIs this because in Gates words I probably just don t like people No it is because I just don t like THESE people or for that matter any of their friends or associates There was not a single person that I could pull for not one And after 568 pages I not only don t like the people I don t like the book Cabaret eitherThe two stars were for the writing otherwise it would have been one andven then there were times I wasn t crazy about the writing ither For xample Susy Ghosh asked the table in a voice like hair in a shampoo commercial p 326 I m still trying to figure out what the hell that means An open letter to my former copy of The CorrectionsFirst I want to tell you that it isn t you it s me People and books grow apart just like people and people grow apart I remember years ago when I read you that there were certain things about you that I really liked but the truth is I just wasn t really that into you Yeah that little stunt with Oprah was pretty cute and I recall we had a laugh but I m just at that point in my life where I need to make space for new xperiences open myself up to what other potentials are out there And you re kinda crowding me a bitI know you asked me Where did it all go wrong I could hear your muffled whine from the trunk as I drove you with the other books to Goodwill At first I wished that I had put you at the bottom of the bag beneath the crushing weight of the duplicate copy of Shaw s works and the crap translation of Les Miserables But that s just being petty I ll answer your uestion honestly Some books like people have a character flaw Yours however is an author flaw I ve just found myself and baffled by the man who crafted you The tipping point came last week when I read Ben Marcus s piece referencing your author and that was really the final straw Don t take this that you are terrible because you re not It s just that I personally think that your author is and I don t want to live in the literary world he wishes to create Thus the breakupOver the years you ve been with me my friends have changed I know that you ve been less than happy about this I ve seen the way that you scoff at all of those Christine Brooke Rose novels on the shelf near you Across the library there are now two whole shelves of Vollmann growing to three I made it clear that none of your family will be welcome in my house so you ve been reduced to crossing your arms and pouting while I ve invited in Pynchon Joyce Gaddis Gass McElroy Marcus You started claiming that I hate you but I don t Those three stars are really three So trust me this is the best thing for both of us Until you find a new home I think you "ll like it here Before leaving the Goodwill I browsed amongst their book selection and saw 27 "like it here Before leaving the Goodwill I browsed amongst their book selection and saw 27 your identical twins here Perhaps you ll be able to pass the time with them sharing stories about how ach of you was dumped And when the Trading Places: The Netherlandish Merchants in Early Modern Venice event the big change in your life is simply an insight isn t that a strange thing That absolutely nothing changesxcept that you see things differently and you re less fearful and less anxious and generally stronger as a result isn t it amazing that a completely invisible thing in your head can feel realer than anything you ve En plein coeur experienced before You see things clearly and you know that you re seeing them clearly And it comes to you that this is what it means to love life this is all anybody who talks seriously about God isver talking about Moments like this The Lamberts are The Bookshop on the Shore experiencing corrections Notconomic ones like the rest of the country although money does underline Dance Real Slow everything they worry about The whole family in a myriad of ways isach on the verge of their very own uniue self destruction THE CORRECTION when it finally came was not an overnight bursting of a bubble but a much gentle let down a year long leakage of value from key financial markets a contraction too gradual to generate headlines and too predictable to seriously hurt anybody but fools and the working poor There may be big The Art of Memoir events that finally shove us forward backwards or sideways but in the aftermath most of us can find with some selfvaluation that the crash in our lives was preceded by a series of miniature inadvisable decisions Sometimes we have to crash to correctAlfred is the father a Kansan who believed in hard work and honest labor He has always been moody self contained in many ways unknowable At the age of 75 he has come down with Parkinson s and is uickly becoming a burden impossible to bear for his wife Enid and his kids He has trouble controlling his bowels and this manifests itself in an almost comic if it weren t so tragic series of delusions of talking turds pursuing him relentlessly through the corridors of his own mind He was an amateur chemist and made an important discovery that for unknowable reasons it will be revealed later in the book refuses to fight for his rights to be richly rewarded It drives his oldest son Gary nuts Gary didn t know which version of Alfred made him angrier the spiteful old tyrant who d made a brilliant discovery in the basement and cheated himself out of A Fortune Or The Clueless fortune or the clueless amateur who d unwittingly replicated the work of real chemists spent scarce family money to file and maintain a vaguely worded patent and was now being tossed a scrap from the table Both versions incensed himI admit there are several moments when I too felt the urge to strangle Alfred He is from a generation and geography where a man makes decisions and never feels the need to The Day Christ Was Born: The True Account of the First 24 Hours of Jesus's Life explain himself He doesn t care how angry or upset you are Tears nor threats will move him to give you the reasons that led him to his decisions Gary is an investment banker in Philadelphia He has a beautiful wife named Caroline and three sons He is fighting with his wife regularly than normal and she insists that he is clinically depressed He believes and is not just paranoid about this issue that his wife is manipulatingvents behind his back subtly turning his sons against him She denies verything concedes nothing He finds her in pain from her back and realizes as angry as he is That her face was beautiful and that the agony in it was mistakable for cstasy that the sight of her doubled over and mud spattered and red cheeked and vanuished and wild haired on the Persian rug turned him on that some part of him believed her denials and was full of tenderness for her only deepened his feeling of betrayal He has a haughty disdain for nearly veryone He talks down to his mother He is furious and almost unhinged with his father He is dismissive of his siblings His lust for his wife is inspired as much by his desire to try and control her as it is about physical contact Her fights with him heightens all kinds of feelings of desire He is almost snobbishly gleeful in his fidelity to her but as he revels in his superiority there are also other issues knocking around in his head It occurred to Gary as the young state planner leaned into him to let a raft of sweltering humanity leave the PostgreSQL Server Programming - Second Edition elevator as she pressed her hennaed head against his ribs intimately than seemed strictly necessary that another reason he d remained faithful to Caroline through twenty years of marriage was his steadily growing aversion to physical contact with other human beings Certainly he was in love with fidelity certainly he got anrotic kick out of adhering to principle but somewhere between his brain and his balls a wire was also perhaps coming loose because when he mentally undressed and violated this little redhaired girl his main thought was how stuffy and undisinfected he would find the site of his infidelity a coliform bacterial supply closet a Courtyard Marriott with dried semen on the walls and bedspreads Integrity Restored: Helping Catholic Families Win the Battle Against Pornography each site over warm and underventilated and suggestive of genital warts and chlamydia in its own unpleasant way and what a struggle it would be to breath how smothering her flesh how sualid and foredoomed hisfforts not to condescend So really he is faithful because it is unhygienic to cheat Chip is the middle child a teacher at a college when we first meet him He involves himself with a student who pursued him relentless not so much out of sexual attractiveness but that she needed his help on a paper for another class Classic barter system that unfortunately for Chip is discovered After he is fired he writes a breast obsessed first draft of a screenplay called The Academy Purple. As correções narra a história dos conflitos religiosos geracionais The Taste of Night (Signs of the Zodiac, e de costumes de uma típica família americana na última década do século XX Nos Estados Unidos dos anos 1990 nadascapa ao olhar agudo do autor a instabilidade do mercado financeiro as promessas de bem star dos novos antidepressivos a moral religiosa da velha geração a ausência de scrúpulos dos jovens americanosA família Lambert ncarna a crise de valores da sociedade contemporânea Alfred é um The Road From Home: The Story Of An Armenian Girl engenheiro ferroviário aposentado teimoso cheio de manias agravadas pelo mal de Parkinson recentemente diagnosticado

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It is really horrible He loses yet another girlfriend Julia who s boss decides that she needs to upgrade boyfriends Julia has a husband from Lithuanian who needs someone with Chip s skills With zero prospects in NY Chip decides to fly to Lithuania to help defraud American investors greed can always be Exile and Pilgrim exploited After cratering over the loss of his young college lover that left him snuffling his furniture for any residualssence of her nether regions Chip is getting over lost girlfriends uicker helped by fantasy detours about a bartender he just met If he couldn t get Julia back he wanted in the worst way to have sex with the bartender Who looked about thirty nine herself He wanted to fill his hands with her smoky hair He imagined that she lived in a rehabbed tenement on East Fifth he imagined that she drank a beer at bedtime and slept in faded sleeveless tops and gym shorts that her posture was weary her navel unassumingly pierced her pussy like a seasoned baseball glove her toenails painted the plainest basic red He wanted to feel her legs across his back he wanted to hear the story of her forty odd years Things don t go well for Chip in Lithuania but he was so damn close He didn t understand what had happened to him He felt like a piece of paper that had once had cohere July 2012Facts concerning Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections Print runs of Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections are believed to be the largest in recorded history Although no reliable count xists xperts believe that the number of printed copies of Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections runs into the hundreds of millions in the United States alone with perhaps than one billion copies of Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections in Hannah Montana: The Movie existence worldwide Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections wasxpected to be the Next Big Thing but buyers became bored when they realized the book couldn t be tickled like Elmo or fed like a Tamagotchi or collected like Beanie Babies The unprecedented print run as well as low sale numbers and high return rates led to overcrowding Some bookstores resorted to giving away copies for free but recipients usually passed them on to unsuspecting friends like fruitcake By 2004 it is believed that very used bookstore in the continental United States contained at least two dozen copies of Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections on its shelves However according to rumor for very copy of Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections you can see ten are hiding inside the walls or beneath the floorboards Professional x libris terminators worry that the infestation has spread from used bookstores to private homes In fact you may have several copies of Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections on your bookshelves RIGHT NOW and you may not ven know it In 2006 several bookstores along the East Coast and in and around Portland OR were found to contain nothing but copies of Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections lying in their own filth in crowded stacks and boxes Following this discovery Congress passed legislation mandating population controls for Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections According to regulations copies of Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections may not outnumber other books that are not Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections by than 2 to 1 This keeps the copies of Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections from becoming too self conscious However overcrowding persists and some bookstores have been forced to destroy ntire stacks of Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections to make room for books that are not Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections To scape this fate some of the clever copies of Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections have taken to disguising themselves as books in Tim LaHaye s and Jerry B Jenkins Left Behind series Few manage to find good homes Some bolder braver copies of Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections occasionally venture forth into the Ts to hide among Tolstoy and Trollope but are usually ambushed by gangs of Edith Wharton novels and never seen again Sadly due to gridlock in the current session of Congress no action has been taken lately causing tens of millions of copies of Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections to be rounded up and destroyed in the last two years Although the world of books has developed many religious beliefs regarding what will happen in the after livre Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections remains firmly agnostic This is just as well since all pulped and recycled copies of Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections are Cardiovascular Pet: Current Concepts eventually reincarnated as copies of Jonathan Franzen s novel Freedom A friend gave me Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections a few years ago hers had had a litter of baby Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections free to a good home and I ve had it burrowed in the shelvesver since Finally took steps to get rid of the infestation but I decided to read it first And now it s time to put Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections out of its misery Its characters range from dull to awful the story takes way too long to go nowhere and yet the writing the goddamn writing is damn fucking good Jonathan Franzen can craft a delicious sentence I ll grant him that But I had little desire to read this book and I have no desire to read his others so I m going to box up this copy of Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections drop it at the back door of the nearest thrift store and run like hell Goodbye little Jonathan Franzen s novel The Corrections
i hope you 
hope you a good homeNow "If You Ll Excuse Me Edith Wharton "you ll xcuse me Edith Wharton A friend once told me that Jonathan Franzen has been uoted as saying he deliberately rips off influential late century American authors such as Pynchon DeLillo and Roth but tries to make the prose less difficult asily consumedLeaving aside for a moment the irony of that statement in light of his outrage over the Oprah thing that is stupid Those authors are not great because their writing is accessible when the complexity is removedIt was when one of the main characters in The Corrections was talking to a hallucinated turd that I thought I should just put this down and take a stab at Against the Day or re read Gravity s Rainbow where a literal shit scene can actually be hilarious and fascinatingIn addition to weak pynchonian characters human and fecal this novel suffers from a lack of strict A Companion to Peter Martyr Vermigli editing too many peripheral characters too many inconseuential sub sub subplots from unsympathetic characters I don t really know what the point is ifveryone is horrible and always has and always will hate or be spiteful to The Best Four Years: How to Survive and Thrive in College (and Life) everyone around them from an inconsistent suddennding last chapter no one will ver change pilogue The Time of the Hunters Moon everyone changed and is now charitable of heart from an irritatingly rendered main theme we all try to CORRECT ourselves and one another but we are ultimately unable and from its own determinedffort to be Epic Vegas Vacation (Destination: Desire, even a glowing review I found of this book said Franzen might as well have called it American Something he compares one of the settings to the rest of the country in the first paragraph for god s sakeThe misery of aging theme wasffective and I appreciated the xploration of a marriage that was bad for no complicated a reason than that the husband and wife weren t right for one another Otherwise I had no use for Franzen and his truckloads of loathing I wrote this review in 2007 and no longer recall being given this uote It s been rightly pointed out since that I shouldn t have used it without a citation and should have been skeptical about its authenticity But this book still sucks JONATHAN FRANZEN S TOP TEN RULES FOR WRITERS as given to The Guardian on 20 Feb 2010with additional commenty comments by me 1 The reader is a friend not an adversary not a spectatorHmm well maybe I can t think Hugh Selby had very friendly thoughts when he wrote his brilliant Last Exit to Brooklyn it reads like he wants to shove all of us into a landfill site and have done with the human race But uite often that s a good attitude for a writer to have Some books you walk around and poke sticks at they re designed that way some books you take your machete and hack into the meat and the filth and the hell with any bystanders getting splattered they shouldn t be bystanding so close if their fine suits mean that much to them Some books you can have round for tea with mama So I disagree with rule 1 2 Fiction that isn t an author s personal adventure into the frightening or the unknown isn t worth writing for anything but moneyGarrison Keillor musta got a real fat wad for Lake Wobegon then Likewise Dickens I m not sure what this rule really means Maybe it s just like a tie with a drawing of a fish on it 3 Never use the word then as a conjunction we have and for this purpose Substituting then is the lazy or tone deaf writer s non solution to the problem of too many ands on the pageOkay JF okay Deep breaths put your head between your legs 4 Write in the third person unless a really distinctive first person voice offers itself irresistiblyAgreed I recently jacked in a novel because I found to my horror that it was written in the SECOND person You do this you say that Nooooooooooooo That s just wrong Only one book gets away with that which is An American Tragedy by Theodore Drieser which is uite brilliant But after that one no second person You is firedNow E Annie Proulx look away now 5 When information becomes free and universally accessible voluminous research for a novel is devalued along with itNaw I think I see what he s getting at but naw If you marshall your research well you create a world you re doing good Who was that woman who lived in a box in England and wrote about Alaska I reviewed it too my memory is going down the drain Ah yes The Tenderness of Wolves Anyway that was pretty good So no to rule 5 6 The most purely autobiographical fiction reuires pure invention Nobody ver wrote a auto biographical story than The Meta morphosisSounds like bollocky bollocks to me Does this actually mean anything 7 You see sitting still than chasing afterAh grasshopper you have much to learn Come on JF you re a great writer don t bullshit us 8 It s doubtful that anyone with an internet connection at his workplace is writin. Nid é uma dona de casa comum O casal na faixa dos setenta anos vive às turras numa peuena cidade do Meio Oeste americanoOs três filhos foram para metrópoles da costa Leste a fim de se livrar da mediocridade da vida m família Na Filadélfia Gary o mais velho tornou se banueiro Deprimido paranóico porém acaba com o próprio casamento A caçula Denise também mora na Filadélfia onde é chef de cozinha mas sua vida sexual tumultuada a faz perder o Stepdog emprego Em Nova York Chip o filho do meio é um roteirista frustrado Ao senvolver com uma aluna arruína a carreira de professor universitário.
The Corrections