E–pub/E–book [Lord Foul's Bane]

Betrayals: The Unpredictability of Human Relations gI live in a smallish room with roughly a couple of thousand books They are everywhere I love the books but I also hate the books I d have space if it wasn t for them when I moved it would be easy if it didn t involve carrying what feels like an endless amount of heavy boxes packed with them They are everywhere The bookshelves are all double stacked There are books on top of the normally shelved books There are piles of them everywhere They fall over They are in the way Mooncheese likes to knock them over sometimes even though falling books scare her Like Juliana Hatfield felt about her sister I have the same lovehate relationship with my significant others Lately I ve been in the mindset to cull some of the books Be all JC on them and remove the wheat from the chaff I ve been a little successful I veotten rid of about sixty or seventy books in the last couple of months but there is a problem I feel wrong about Bat Ode getting rid of books that I have not yet read This wouldn t be a problem except that a like aeologist I can Bitter Choices: Blue-Collar Women in and out of Work go through my shelves and re create the history of fleeting ideas and interests I had that happened to correspond to fortuitous trips to used bookstores and b I sometimes buy a lot of crap An amendment to b is that I also acuire a lot of crap for free ie I Love You Beth Cooper In some cases a and b come together Lord Foul s Bane is one of those books A few years ago I went through a brief moment where I thought maybe I should become familiar with fantasy Then I bought up some fantasy books for about a uarter a piece on a trip to the always wonderful bookstoreI love this cat he likes to sometimes sit on my back while I m crouched down looking for books in Schuylerville turning point of the Revolutionary War and home of the most disgusting home I ever stepped foot in but that is another story I ll try to fit into some other review where dog shit plays a promiment role This long and uninteresting story has no real point except that I want toet rid of books but I feel I need to read them before Barrio: Photographs from Chicago's Pilsen and Little Village getting rid of them Lately that has been making me read books I have no interest in I ll look at a book that I think I will enjoy and say to myself when I finish this I think I ll want to keep it So instead of reading something I may potentially enjoy I ll see something like Lord Foul s Bane sitting in a pile and I llrab this instead I didn t finish this book I made it a little than halfway through it If I spent another couple of hours reading I d be able to finish it but I just don t care to The book is bad It s written in very formal and stilted style kind of like something you hear from some drama nerd who tries to bring a little Shakespeare into their daily life The story is uninteresting It is difficult to accomplish this for me I find nothing wrong with reading a novel about a man laying in pig shit and doing nothing but thinking I can find that engaging There is nothing engaging in this book By the time I stopped reading it there was some kind of uest to bring a message to someone but I didn t ive a fuck Why didn t I care Well one I hated the language I hated the characters The main character is a one dimensional leper with rage issues that make little sense except that they spring up when the

Author Needs To Create 
needs to create The only meaningful thing he did in 252 pages was rape a irl All of the other characters are bullshit cookie cutter caricatures The whole world he created seems like just a series of seperate little communities that each have some New Age Hippy thing Blank Darkness: Africanist Discourse in French going on There are the people who like the rocks the people who like the tree s the people who like the water but besides liking something they don t seem to do too muchI m Treeman of the timberpeople my made up names are only a tad dumber then the names Donaldson comes up with and we live in the treesWhat else do you doDo We live in treesYeah but besides living in trees what do you do I live in an apartment but I also do other thingsNo man you don tet it we live in trees We like trees Just like Granitehead of the Rock collectors digs rocks we dig treesI Back to the Breast: Natural Motherhood and Breastfeeding in America get it you like trees they like rocks but you live in a world and you have to do something besides just like trees No man you don tet it we like trees Are you retarded What baffles me about this book is that it is highly regarded It was up for a bunch of big awards Lists on place it as a reat fantasy book and maybe it is My fantasy knowledge being kind of weak Besides my other misgivings the thing I hated most ok not besides I hated this the most was the motherfucking bullshit weakasfuck Dungeon Master shit that the author pulled constantly Any possible conflict could be resolved by Some Lame Ass Addition Into lame ass addition into powers *OF A CHARACTER OR THING MAYBE *a character or thing Maybe s fun when you re ok Me when I was 13 and overweight and playing Dungeons and Dragons with your friend to throw all logic out the window and just let your characters kill and do anything they would like but as a novelists you can t just add bullshit constantly because you can t think of any other way out of the problems you have made your characters face you may do this if your name is Joss and your protagonist is a teenage irl who kills vampires I don t know why he ets a pass but he does no one else. 1977 1st Ed. Lord Foul's BaneDoes though I m done with this book and this review I m oing to Black and White Strangers: Race and American Literary Realism give this book away and maybe learn my lesson that if I don t think I d enjoy a book I own it may be ok to justet rid of it without torturing myself for past mistakes in book buying OMG that was a rather difficult book to Boggs: A Comedy of Values get into I mean most of the time I had keep re shifting theears in my head to see what might be valuable and Blood Runs Green: The Murder That Transfixed Gilded Age Chicago good about this book and for areat 200 pages I was wondering if I had stumbled into another Eddings slogfest full of completely predictable situations and heroes with only the main character being a bit out of the ordinaryAnd then I had to remind myself that this came out in 1977 and the cult fantasy favourite as opposed to the mainstream fantasy favourite was LOTR We ve been inundated with Lewis and Beagle and who knows what else in the fantasy field The time was ripe for a change and all the big fantasy fans have all declared this fantasy cycle as a major turning point with a textual breakaway into new territory that has stuck with us all the way to modern fantasy which I have to say I now adoreBut did I really Berlioz and the Romantic Century get into this book Is it even possible The answer is yes with a pretty huge caveat It s pretty obvious that the entire book is an exploration of a uote by John Milton in Paradise Lost The mind is its own place and in itself can make a heaven of hell a hell of heavenPutting that firmly in mind now read our self hating Thomas Covenant in his American home being treated as a Leper because he is one and see America as Mordor He s in hell And then heets sent to heavenThe magical land is just that It s magical people CAN live on beauty alone and there are honourable seafaring iants reminiscent of the Ents horse riders with much magic in the horses just like Rohan only like Valdemar and the Council who are mages who have lost much lore over the centuriesCovenant is skeptical of everything he sees now for although he used to be a best selling author he s now iven up on all things imaginative in the wake of the hell of being diagnosed as a Leper and to learn he has no hope whatsoever So when he is miraculously cured and the wedding ring of his divorced wife has turned into the receptacle of the mystical Wild Magic that could either restore or destroy this wonderful fantasy world he just Can Not Believe any of it He s hallucinating He s dreamingToo bad for him it s all too real to his senses and even his nerves have regenerated which he knows is impossible Oh DearHonestly the ideas come across as much interesting than the execution Like I said it was a slogfestIt s also too bad because he s rather an assholeAfter reading so much modern fantasy I ALMOST wish he d done something other than rape the wide eyed Canadian Art, Volume 1 (A-F): Canadian Art: Volume I (A-F) girl that was doing her damnedest to help him like murder a cute puppy or an innocent child Maybe he d have had an easier time making me believe he really did regret the act later or even right after the passion had been spent Jesus What a fucking prickOkay Moving along And that s another thing It was just a very very long travelogue At least LOTR had it in service of excellent secondary or tertiaryoals The most we can say about Covenant is his radual slide into belief and Eventual Realization That He S Been A Major Asshole At realization that he s been a major asshole At there was lots of dancing And the initial metaphor and how it changed each time was not lost upon me That was one of the nicer aspects of the novel other than the realizations of Covenant himselfOkay now here s my biggest nut and bolt complaint Lord Foul is both a pretty damn interesting strategist and uber powerful magical villain I wish it hadn t taken so damn long for us as readers to GET THAT POINT Practically anything else would have been a better introduction to Drool and Foul They came across as an actual snivelling idiot and a minor house lord and not the wielder of a staff fashioned by the Creator himself to right the corruption being spread throughout the fabric of reality or the source of that corruption itself Lord Foul It was all properly epic and I loved the ideas once I was finally INTRODUCED to themI saw the influence of Zelazny s Amber series right away and I ve always loved it when authors did that You know Uber Reality and the lesser realms with Earth being one of many minor realms It was a nice addition to the bookAnd oddly enough I ot a lot out of the novel s spoken aloud tales campfire style than I did with the entire let s One Touch of Scandal goet that damn Staff storylineIt s not a bad novel Don t Bulletproof Feathers get me wrong I m not jumping off the deep end and slamming this as I would with a modern fantasy that tried to pull this off I m trying to respect it as a product of it s and place and as such I d probablyive it a 5 star s time and place as such I d probably Carson Pirie Scott: Louis Sullivan and the Chicago Department Store give it a 5 star too or perhaps a 4 because Zelazny s was better Or at least I remember it fondly and since I haven t read the other Covenant novels I really shouldn t judge just yetBut the language in this novel wasn t up to Tolkien s high standards and the worldbuilding didn t leave all that much impression on me either Maybe that s a personal failing and the fact that I couldn tet into the Charting an Empire: Geography at the English Universities 1580-1620 groove and kept falling out of whateverroove I eventually Chameleon Hours got well it certainly didn t helpI ll keepoing because once I invest in a thing I like. Holt Rineh. ,

To maintain the investment when others tell me it only ets a lot better but as of right this moment I a lot better but as of right this moment I a bit weary Maybe a few novels before I sink into the next might be bestsigh I read Lord Foul s Bane once in rade seven the same year I first read Macbeth and Lady Chatterly s Lover and The Lord of the Rings for a second time It was a ood year for me and reading And an important year for who I would become But I didn t know until now how important Lord Foul s Bane was to all of thatThis story has stuck with me in the most amazing ways After nearly three decades I recalled an amazing amount of detail in the pages I reread I remembered minute details about Thomas Covenant s attitude towards his leprosy especially when it came to the VSE Visual Surveillance of Extremities rituals that sustained him in our world and the new rituals he developed during his time in the Land I remembered Atiaran s stone knife and the way Covenant tempted the fate of his leprosy with its keen edge the edge that never dulled I remembered the way Covenant hero anti hero villain weakling coward simply flawed raped Atiaran s daughter Lena I remembered the diamond draught of Stoneheart Foamfollower and the image of the impaled Waynhim in the Waymeet and the death of the Unfettered One trying to save the beautiful wraiths of the Andelainian Hills and the wedge formation of the ur Viles I remembered it all with the sort of clarity one has when they read a book dozens of times or reread a book very shortly after having put it down but I didn t expect to have anywhere near the clarity I had all these years later Thomas Covenant himself has stuck with me He is frustrating spiteful ugly tormented cynical dark brooding and infuriatingly self pitying He is every bit the Unbeliever he names himself And Stephen R Donaldson wants him to be that way He needs him to be that way Covenant has to fight his belief in the Land at every turn because the Land is impossible and as a rational man suffering from leprosy in 20th century North America all that allows him to cling to his life is his rationality and sanity no matter how tenuous both are But the Land at least in this first book of the Chronicles is unbelievable It has to be one of the strangest most frightening and surrealistic fantasy worlds ever created Donaldson describes it with achingly beautiful prose and sometimes that beautiful prose is dense and slow and plodding mirroring the motion of Covenant through the Land itself to reveal wonders that are just slightly different from everything we ve seen before in every high fantasy that Tolkien ave birth to but Donaldson s slight shift in perspective his offering of the place through the decaying lens of a leper his constant overturning of expectations makes his fantasy world uniue His Citrus: A History giants are not what we d expect nor are his wraiths nor his Cavewights nor his landscape nor his weather nor his incarnadine corrupted moon nor his magic And the most disconcerting difference between Donaldson s Land and the other fantasy realms we know is that his Land feels entirely unpopulated Covenant never stops travelling as he tries to escape his dream yet his contact with the Land s denizens is minimal He passes through four centers of population Mithil Stonedown a town of Gravelingas who are rich in stone lore Soaring Woodhelvin a tree town of Lillianrill who are rich in wood lore Revelstone the seat of the High Lords and the Plains of Ra where the nomadic Ramen serve the Ranyhyn a kind of uber horse He seesreat sights bizarre rituals and happenings and he interacts with a person here or there but the first two towns seem home to mere dozens of people Revelstone seems empty and the Ramen are so hidden in their poisonous plains that we never Building the South Side: Urban Space and Civic Culture in Chicago, 1890-1919 get a sense of how many there are And even those people and races Covenant spends much time with such as the Haruchai Bloodguards and his Giant friend are isolated from their vital populations Two score set out to fight Lord Foul s desecration Where is everyone else The Land feels empty and this is another disconcerting moment in an already disconcerting novel But that s why I love Lord Foul s Bane It isn t easy Donaldson challenges us whenever and however he can And he does it with transcendent prose and unflinching devotion to his problematic protagonist I d much rather read Mordant s Need It is hopeful lively real but I don t know if that makes it better In fact it probably isn t If you ve read both I ask you this especially you Jon Is Mordant s Need better I really don t know But I do know this Stephen R Donaldson is my unsung hero of fantasyreatness He is up there with the best But damn is he a lot of work Soul saddened SIGHDamn damn DAMNlife can really be full of suck This book really torched my hopes and dreams NOT because it was nightmarishly horrible which it wasn t but because I wanted it to be so brimming with steaming chunks of mouth watering awesome that I could write a stinging snark filled anti anti Thomas Covenant reviewmy rant against the rantersI suspected I had a excellent chance of really liking this story because most of the criticism of the series revolves around how douchy and unlikeable Thomas Covenant the main character is Not a problem for this read. Olt Winston.

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